Erotic Self-Expansion A Framework for Healing Trauma Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW, CSE Original December 2019 Revised April 2024 Copyright 2019 Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW, CSE For information: rsf@healingxchg.com The Erotic Self-Expansion Model (ESE) A Trauma-Informed Approach to Healing Through Erotic Identity The Erotic Self-Expansion (ESE) model integrates trauma theory, identity development, and sexuality to support trauma survivors – particularly those affected by sexual trauma – in reclaiming and expanding their erotic sense of self. Grounded in Self-Expansion Theory (Aron & Aron, 1986), it reframes erotic healing not simply as symptom reduction, but as identity growth and reconnection to personal agency and vitality. Core Premise Eroticism is more than sexual activity – it encompasses desire, imagination, agency, and embodied vitality. Trauma often disrupts these dimensions, leading to emotional numbing, avoidance, and negative self-perceptions (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). ESE positions the erotic as central to post-traumatic healing, inviting survivors to rebuild an integrated, empowered relationship with their erotic self. Symptom ESE Principle Healing Mechanism Decreased interest in activities Desire Reawakens internal motivation and longing Anhedonia / emotional numbing Pleasure Builds tolerance for positive sensation Hypervigilance Play Lowers stress responses through safe, embodied risk Negative self-concept or shame Purpose Helps reconstruct meaning and personal agency The ESE Formula e = d + p³ Eroticism = Desire + (Pleasure × Play × Purpose) Core Symptoms Addressed * Emotional numbing/loss of interest * Difficulty experiencing positive affect * Hypervigilance * Negative self-beliefs ESE Principles Eroticism * Desire: Rekindle internal permission to want * Pleasure: Build tolerance for enjoyment and positive affect * Play: Invite curiosity and experimentation in a safe context * Purpose: Anchor eroticism in personal meaning and intention Self-Expansion * Connection: Cultivate safe relational and embodied intimacy * Sense of Self: Rebuild a coherent, empowered sexual identity * Education: Normalize, inform, and demystify the erotic experience * Curiosity: Embrace exploration without pressure or expectation Applications Across Modalities * IFS: Engage protectors and exiles around autonomy sexuality * EMDR: Target traumatic memories that block pleasure * CBT: Reframe core beliefs around sex, identity, and worth * Somatic Therapies: Use breath, movement, and self-touch to ground eroticism Conclusion The ESE model invites a shift from trauma recovery to erotic expansion. It affirms that pleasure, curiosity, and erotic identity are not luxuries—they are powerful tools for healing and re-integration. ESE helps survivors reclaim the right to feel, want, and connect again. References American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1986). Love and the expansion of self: Understanding attraction and satisfaction. Hemisphere. Ford, J. D., & Courtois, C. A. (2014). Complex PTSD, affect dysregulation, and borderline personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder and emotion dysregulation, 1, 9. Lanius RA, Terpou BA, McKinnon MC. The sense of self in the aftermath of trauma: lessons from the default mode network in posttraumatic stress disorder. Eur J Psychotraumatol. 2020 Oct 23;11(1):1807703. doi: 10.1080/20008198.2020.1807703. Lorde, A. (2000). Uses of the erotic: The erotic as power. Kore Pr. O'Driscoll, C., & Flanagan, E. (2016). Sexual problems and post-traumatic stress disorder following sexual trauma: A meta-analytic review. Psychology and psychotherapy, 89(3), 351–367. Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the body: A sensorimotor approach to psychotherapy. Norton. Oh, D. H. (2012). Traumatic Experiences Disrupt Amygdala – Prefrontal Connectivity. In The amygdala - a discrete multitasking manager. essay, InTech. Retrieved June 11, 2021, from https://www.intechopen.com/chapters/41582. Schwartz, R. C. (2001). Introduction to the Internal Family Systems Model. Trailheads Publications. Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy: Basic principles, protocols, and procedures (3rd ed.). Guilford Press. Smith-Fiallo, R (2019, November). Erotic Self-Expansion. Presented at Sessions Lives 2019: In Search of Eros. New York, New York. Tull, M. (2021, February 27). Do you have ptsd? Behavioral activation treatment may help. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/behavioral-activation-treatment-for-ptsd-2797668. Yehuda, R., Lehrner, A., & Rosenbaum, T. Y. (2015). PTSD and sexual dysfunction in men and women. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 12(5), 1107-1119. Contact for further inquiries Rafaella Smith-Fiallo, LCSW, CSE (she/ella) Creator of the Erotic Self-Expansion Model Founding Director & Therapist, Healing Exchange LLC The content of this publication may be reprinted with the following acknowledgement: This material was reprinted, with permission, from Rafaella Smith-Fiallo’s publication entitled Erotic Self-Expansion: A Framework for Healing Trauma. This document is available by visiting www.rafaellafiallo.com